Are you a good listener? Active Communication Tips Trish Vernazza M.A., MFT, ATR-BC
These are a few tips for those who are experiencing difficulties in listening and responding to their partners, loved ones, families and friends.
What makes a good relationship? Communicative intimacy! When one person is able to listen and the other feel free and safe to say whatever he or she wants without being interrupted, judged or disrespected.
Begin With the Basics!
1. Listen Actively. Listen with your ears, eyes, heart and a closed mouth.
2. Listen for Feelings. Hear what the person is saying but notice non verbal cues: Facial expressions, body movements, eye contact, nervous gestures, and movements and displays of emotions (sighs, tears, smiles,).
3. Connect their Feelings to What They are Saying. Acknowledge and validate you hear them (I can see you are scared, this is really hard as I can see the sadness on your face,it's ok to cry, I can tell this is hard for you).
4. Respond Empathetically. Tell your friend that you know how they feel, or that you have had some of the same experiences. This allows the other person to feel safe, secure and that you are truly listening. It opens up the opportunity for that person to be honest with themselves and with you.
5 .Help the Person to Explore Alternative Solutions. Ask questions: What can I do to help you or the situation? What do you think you could do to change this outcome? What steps do you think need to be taken for a different picture to evolve?
6. Be There and Follow up!! Check in with that person and see how they are doing. Let them know you care.
Trish Vernazza is a licensed Marriage Family Therapist and Art Therapist and author of the book "Women, Art, and Mental Illness. Her private practice is located in Downtown Carlsbad Village in Southern California.trishv.com
