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Weekly Etiquette Question

 
 
December 20, 2009
Q.    How do I tastefully ask guests not to bring a gift to my 45th birthday party without sounding rude or ungrateful?

A.    The best way to ask guests not tot bring a gift to your birthday party is to do just that. Something as simple as:
 
(Written) More than any gift in the world your presence at my celebration is what I would appreciate most. So in lieu of gifts I ask that you please just bring your well wishes and a spirit of fun!

(Verbal) "Say, Mary I really don't want to be forward or make any assumptions but if you planned on bringing a gift to my party I'd prefer you didn't. Just bring yourself and plan on having lots of fun!

Keep in mind though; the bottom line is it’s your guests prerogative as to whether or not they actually choose to follow your request. So don’t get all bent all out of shape if someone arrives bearing gifts. And in some cases if the party is being hosted in your home, individuals may even bring a hostess gift such a bottle of wine or chocolates. In any case the gift should be accepted with grace and humility. Just thank them sweetly and keep it stepping.

December 13, 2009
Q.     I recently had a serious surgery and many follow up office visits. Is it customary or appropriate to send a note, card, or office gift (tray of cookies) to the office to express appreciation, or would this look crazy?

A.     Not at all do I think that would look crazy. What a wonderful gesture to let the staff know they are appreciated.
I'm sure they will all be grateful for your kindness. Kudos to you for thinking so well of others!


December 6, 2009
Q.    Where should I sit in a business meeting if guest?

A.     If you are a guest or accompanying the host to a business meeting it’s best to wait until you are directed to a specific chair to sit. Or you can discreetly ask your host “Where shall I sit”?

If you are hosting a meeting then arrive early and determine which chair would be best for you to sit in based on the set up of the room and how your meeting will be conducted. Therefore your seat could be at the head of the table or perhaps even the center of the table. In a theater style setting you might decide to take a seat to the far left, far right or even in the rear. It’s totally up to you.
 
 
 
ElaineSwann the "Etiquette Lady"

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Etiquette Expert Elaine Swann is based in southern California and speaks to organizations throughout the United States.
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