Do you ever know the perfect thing to say or do after an event has occurred? Here’s ten things that happened this week (okay, they all happened today!) and how I would’ve handled them in retrospect.
1.My youngest sprayed me all over with Windex while I was preparing my creative and elaborate dinner. Next time: Don’t multi-task cleaning kitchen windows while making mac & cheese.
2.Both my 3 year old and my 16 year old had “accidents” an hour apart. Next time: Space out potty training and driver’s training.
3.Several clients left phone messages asking why I had prank called them with mooing sounds, laughter and rinsing and spitting noises. Next time: Don’t give a cell phone to your five year old to keep her busy in the waiting room while you’re at the dentist’s office.
4.My husband spontaneously attended one of our female home spa parties to “show interest” in my work. Next time: Don’t leave party agenda, directions and belly dance instructor’s photo on the counter.
5.Raw hamburger meat juice leaked all over the carpet of my freshly washed Suburban. Next time: Don’t try to defrost dinner by using the car heater on the way to pick up dry-cleaning.
6.My 9 year old’s teacher sent home a sympathy card and some delicious home-baked banana bread. Next time: Don’t tell your extremely literal daughter that you’ll just die if she forgets her lunch at home one more time.
7.A client returned my recently sent email wanting to know why our price just went up to $49500000&*#@% for a three hour party. Next time: Never walk away in the middle of open computer correspondence when your “click happy” toddler is in the house…even if someone screamed from the first floor and now there’s this odor of burnt bleach, old gym socks and chocolate wafting upstairs. Just be grateful that someone else is making dinner.
8.Two 15 year old boys with the same scary-looking, acne marked face first demanded some money, then snatched my purse and helped themselves. Next time: Pay the twin’s allowance in a timely manner.
9.There’s strawberry jelly, marshmallow fluff and Elmer’s glue all over my business tee shirt. Next time: Blow kisses goodbye on the way out to work, instead of trying to give a group hug just to save time.
10.An article was written about the ten things that went wrong in my life. Next time: Adjust the attitude and recognize the tremendous learning potential in all of life’s not quite so positive moments. And laugh!
Stephanie Lewis is owner/creator ofInsideoutgirls.com Balancing six kids, a husband, home and her business leaves little time for much else, yet she refuses to throw in the towel (without washing it first) on her writing career.
